mama time

Everything I need to know, motherhood has taught me ..

So it is official, we are only 18 weeks to my ½ Ironman race! I know 18 weeks when you are prego can feel like forever, but am going to be honest – it causes me a little bit of stress that it is coming so soon!  Adding to my stress:  The Training Bible, a great resource from my coach, but a workout plan that includes 4 trips to the pool in 7 days!  Not a chance that is going to happen!! Besides the number of workouts, I have loads to learn on nutrition, technique and drills … can you feel the stress building!


So what is a mom to do? After a nice calming glass of wine, I had a clarifying moment – I am acting just like I did with my first born, where I tried to read endless advice on how to care for her, (Baby Basics was quoted many times in our home).  I realized that I am just adding stress to my life by attempting to complete a perfect a training schedule. So it made me thiMy girlsnk, what did I learn with my second child, when motherhood became a true joy for me, that I can apply to this race too?

 

1. Quality vs. Quantity, when it comes to time!  My girls are a mere 13 months apart, I didn’t have endless hours to bond with a new baby, so I spent my 1:1 time enjoying her versus worrying about what milestones she should be hitting. For this race, same applies – do what I can during each week but be sure to make each workout count.

 

2. Flexibility is a necessity. What baby doesn’t want a feeding every 2 ½ hours every day? I can honestly say I learned the hard way, you cannot force a baby to eat according to a time schedule, you have to be flexible. So for the race, I must relax as I did with my second babe, remind myself that a schedule is just a guide – some weeks will work as planned, but life has to happen too.

 

3. Believe and trust in myself. An extra long snuggle in bed together in the mornings, does not mean a baby will never sleep alone, regardless of what some books say. My Training Bible, like the baby books, are just  guides .. take what I can from them but go with what feels right for me. You can always ref the “experts” when you need them!


So it seems like my original “base” training plan isn’t going to need to change that much (just needs those long weekend bikes to reach 3 hours!!) – I must remember, I want this journey to end with a smile on my face .. an accomplishment my girls will be proud of!! 

Posted by Krista running mama on 03/14/2011 - 21:42
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Mama Friendships- Are yours at Risk?

Maintaining friendships when you are a mama can be a tricky business. Often already juggling a hectic home life, work and children, while also trying to carve out a bit of time with Daddy-o, can leave little room for your girlfriends.

The way I see it, there are a few friendship fizzling high risk situations:

1) You become a mama: Many report that their friendships with single/childless girlfriends suffer. Mama feels they don’t understand why she doesn’t want to ditch the kid to go dancing every weekend. This has not actually been my experience. My single friends have shown extreme interest and understanding when it comes to my kids. And I am equally keen to hear their Sex in the City lifestyle stories.

2) You have a child with a disability: Hate to say it, but mamas of kids with disabilities get ditched. I’ll explain why it happens in the autism world: you have a friend who brings her 3-year-old over for weekly playdates. Her kid can’t talk, has meltdowns for “no reason”, maybe he’s a bit aggressive, doesn’t relate to the other kids there and his behaviour is disruptive. The mama host thinks “Hmmm…this playdate would go much more smoothly if that kid with the problems doesn’t come”. The playdate invitations stop.

3) You constantly bail on plans: When you regularly drop out of social plans at the last minute, eventually your friends will stop inviting you. I generally don’t accept invitations in the first place because of my bailing stats. But, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate receiving a low pressure “turn up if you can swing it” invitation. It makes me feel that I have not been forgotten, and also that there is some understanding about my situation.

4) You become a Mama of Many: Right around the birth of your fourth child, families you normally socialize with suddenly stop inviting you over. Who can blame them – your family takes up their whole house.

How have your friendships survived? What are the biggest friendship hurdles you’ve encountered in your mama life? Are you still close with the friends you had pre-kids, or did you shake it up socially when you hit the mama scene?

Posted by Julie mama of many on 08/30/2010 - 22:12
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