This is a BIG birthday for me in April and I have to say that the turning of the new year has meant that it is that much closer to being a reality.
I'm not sure if the number means much to me or what it represents... isn't 40 the decade when you have your shit together? Isn't it the time in your life, when you are comfortable in your own skin and confident in who you are?
I know I don't FEEL 40....but I also don't feel 20 either!
As I approach this milestone, I'm forced to think about what I really want to accomplish before I enter this next decade, the next phase of my life.
One BIG issue that remains with me is my weight and health. It has been an issue my whole life and I have to admit that I'm just tired. Tired of using the stress of raising a son with special needs, the stress of my son's death, the stress of life as an excuse to eat like crap and to put ME on the bottom of the list! I'm tired of hating getting dressed, tired of being so self-conscious everywhere I go, tired of looking back at old photos and missing that "me", tired of having tons of fabulous clothes I can't wear, tired of having less energy and tired of not looking on the outside, the way I feel inside!
I'm happy at size 8 or 10, so I have really realistic goals as I enter my second week on Weight Watchers- I just want a healthy ME.
this is the ME when I remember being happy with my weight!
I want to look like the ME I was when I remember feeling GOOD in clothes and getting excited to shop.
The ME that had so much energy with my kids that I was on the swings and slides more than they were.
The ME that felt proud to me on the arm of my handsome husband.
The ME that shows my kids the importance of being healthy and eating better.
The ME that can enter her 40s with the confidence that I have searched for my whole life.
I've said it before and now I'll say it again, I need to lose 40lbs to really feel great again in my own skin. To feel the way I was meant to be. Not skinny, but a healthier, happier me!
So, I'm feeling better and stronger now- I have a fabulous job that I love, a family I adore, and friends who make me laugh. I'm back on Weight Watchers and I have started to feel the results already (I lost over 4lbs in week 1). My new motivation is my 40th birthday in April and the promise of wearing a bathing suit I feel good in, on my family birthday trip down south!
So, wish me luck, talk me away from the junk food and remind me that I'm worth it!
Check back for my Weight Watchers Tips and my own progress with some other momstown moms..... if you are on this journey with me, here are some of my favourite recipes with their WW points (new ones added weekly!)