It should be on the endangered species list.
I am tired. Beyond the "I-had-too-many-late-nights-in-a-row" tired. It's more like too-many-long-years tired... and I have a sinking feeling I am going to be feeling like this for years.
The kicker is my kids actually sleep well at night (knock on wood). We're beyond the sleep training for kids as come 7:30pm it is quiet around here. My youngest naps in the afternoon - not reliably or sound but he naps. My oldest is awake with boundless energy in the afternoon but by bedtime she's zonked.
What's my problem? In theory I should have almost 11 hours of silent slumber ahead of me each night.
I don't go to bed!
It's ridiculous, every single night I lay there reading bedtime stories at 7pm and think, gawd I could go to sleep right now. Then, after kiddo bedtime, I get perky and excited about an evening of quiet and my mental to-do list goes into overdrive! Wide awake, I scatter around the house doing things or mostly I start my power hours of productive (shocking!) working on momstown stuff.
I never used to be a night owl but now if I am in bed before 1am, I'm surprised!
I'm writing this on a Thursday, which is always the day when I seem unable to keep up anymore and I feel like a wind-up toy which is sloooooowly winding down.
Intellectually, I get that sleep is good, it helps keep us all healthy and this constant late night & early kid rising is not a good long term health strategy. People need more than 5 hours of sleep... I know I need more than 4-5 hours of sleep.
But it feels like an addiction - I can't give up this quiet time in the evening. I don't know how the rest of our life would balance if I wasn't up awake finishing things... because my other choice would be to sacrifice more kid-time for work-time. Something I don't want to do.
I have no answers at all... and I know I'm not the only mama out there burning the candle at both ends. Maybe I'll start a petition for a 30 hour clock for moms.