September, 2011

World Breastfeeding Week - Events in Your Community

world breastfeeding weekWorld Breastfeeding Week is recognized from Oct 1-8, 2011 in Canada, and communities across the country have put together special events in celebration.

 

halton baby friendly

In Halton, the World Breastfeeding Week theme highlights that breastfeeding support is often looked at in terms of length of breastfeeding experience and location but without a third dimension, communication, neither has much impact. Join moms in Milton, Georgetown, Oakville, and Burlington for special events throughout the week.

 

Burlington will also host an event at the Early Years centre on Oct 5th.

 

Hamilton's breastfeeding resources are listed here.

 

In Barrie, join other families and their supporters, as well as representatives from the Simcoe Muskoka District Health Unit, Barrie Family Health Team Lactation Clinic, La Leche League, The Barrie Midwives, The Canadian Lactation Consultants Association, and DoulaCARE in celebrating the nourishing and nurturing of our children, and in sharing support and information that helps to build the foundation for a healthy life!

 

In Kitchener-Waterloo, mothers can join a breastfeeding challenge in Kitchener on Oct. 1 and in Cambridge on Oct. 3 to set the record for the most children breastfeeding at one time in sites across Canada, the United States and many other countries.

 

In Durham, highlights of events planned include the Latch and Count event at 11 a.m. on Oct 1st, where breastfeeding mothers will attempt to set the record for most babies breastfeeding at one site. This event is taking place at the Oshawa Centre, near the Old Navy store at 419 King Street W.

 

York Region's breastfeeding support is provided by appointment at no cost - locations are available in Markham, Newmarket, Richmond Hill, and Vaughn.

 

Guelph has breastfeeding clinics available to support new moms. Click here for more details.

 

Toronto is holding a walk and breastfeeding challenge hosted by La Leche League Canada. Fashion Show, Workshops, Free lunch, Door Prizes, Fun Family Walk!

Winnipeg is holding a Latch on to Breastfeeding Challenge on Oct 1st - click here for details!

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momstown moms have breastfeeding support to share

world breastfeeding weekWhen I became a mom for the first time, I had no idea how difficult breastfeeding might be - and how fraught with emotion and anxiety the struggle can become. Having support from experienced moms, lactation consultants, and breastfeeding clinics was essential to my eventual success.

world breastfeeding weekWorld Breastfeeding Week is celebrated in Canada from Oct 1-8 in 2011. It's a reminder to all of us moms of the support out there for those choosing to breastfeed. momstown is proud to count ourselves among the resources that new moms have when needing help with breastfeeding in the early days.

It's great to know someone who has gone through the early days of leaky boobs and breast pads, or hear how another mom survived nursing a biter.

When time comes to wean - it can be agonizing for some, or no big deal for others - but it sure helps to have a resource to turn to or a shoulder to lean on.

Maybe you need to figure out what breast pump to use or whether to pump at all... who better to share their experiences than fellow moms who have been there?

momstown is proud to celebrate World Breastfeeding Week and continue to be a source of support for moms and babies in communities across Canada.

Check out events in your community to see if there are ways you can support new moms or gain access to resources that you might need yourself.

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The Rise of the Disposable Entrepreneur

Mom entrepreneurs are on the rise. Which is good.

 

Know what isn’t good? The rise of the Disposable Mom Entrepreneur.

 

What’s a disaposable mom entrepreneur? It’s my own name for women who get into a business and then give up. She thinks she’s found a way to monetize a hobby or craft her way to a fortune in crochet hats or random widgets. Maybe she finds a business model with licensing ability and wants to try her hand at the game. Maybe even found a unique gap in the market which she fills with a passion.

 

Often, a disposable mom entrepreneur thinks running her own business is a great way to stay home with their kids, make some easy cash,  and “work” in her spare time.

 

When she realises it’s not all glue gunning ribbon on hair barrettes but it’s about inventory management, Quickbooks, grumpy customers who want purple not pink, long hours at trade shows and time on Twitter – the disposable mom entrepreneur gives up. She disappears into thin air often with nothing to show because her passion fizzles.

 

I see disposable mom entrepreneurs shoot out of the gate all the time. They network like crazy meeting other entrepreneurs. They live on Facebook liking every other relevant fan page and chase me down on Twitter. They sell things, make things, build businesses. They make commitments to clients and colleagues. And then one day, often shortly after they started their biz, sputter and give up.

 

Oh, they moan, it took too much of my time. It was so much work. I was losing money. It cut into my family time. This wasn’t what I expected. I could make more income in my old job.

 

Those are all moanable thoughts - IF you work for someone else, when you can quit with two weeks notice. But those moans are called expectations if you’re an entrepreneur.

 

positive thinking

 

The difference between a DisposableMom Entrepreneur and a “real” Entrepreneur seems to me the difference in giving up – Mom Entrepreneurs give up sooner. She loses faith or her "dream" is no longer clear in vision.

 

Maybe it’s because many Mom Entrepreneurs have a husband pulling the real income in to fall back on so her motivation is padded. Maybe it’s because she’s running a business while also being the chief caregiver, cook and bottle washer. Maybe it’s because she never had real support to carve out time for her business. Maybe she never actually did a real business plan to understand her foreseeable future?  Or something as simple as not having to go to an office, or pay an employee, or take down her storefront sign – her ego isn’t as shattered to shut down her “shop”.
 

 

Disposable Mom Entrepreneurs give up way too easily. Women give up their claim to 'fame' because the road is too hard.

 

This irks me to no end. Does the word commitment not mean anything anymore? Is the Disposable Entrepreneur the Generation Y version of mom entrepreneur? The Gen Y's who expect to climb the corporate ladder to President by age 25?  Quick success or nothing? I want to make a million dollars today or it’s not worth my time?

 

You’ve gotta earn your dues, learn along the way, make mistakes and pay for them. That’s what entrepreneurialism IS. Nothing happens overnight.

 

Why do so many Tupperware ladies stop selling? So many barrette shops close? So many copied-another-business-idea entrepreneurs decide it wasn’t for her anymore?

 

Not enough skin in the game. Not enough passion for her project. Lives in a society with low commitment and where people will pat her on the back and say “you tried your best”.  Even when she knows she did not.

 

What do you think? Do you see this same trend?

 

Written by our main momstown entrepreneur Ann-Marie Burton who spends an awful lot of time mentoring new mom entrepreneurs and convincing them to keep their eye on the prize and keep up the good work.

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The Myth of Supermom

According to this blog, research that has shown that “Supermoms” are more prone to depression.

work life balance cartoonAs a career woman who also runs my own business and is a partner in my husband’s business I know a bit about busy. I’m also a mom, sister, daughter, friend and volunteer in my church. I have a home that needs upkeep, elderly in-laws that need care and... I have been told, on occasion, that I take on too much. I guess, somewhere in my mind I don’t have an end. I look at life and just believe I can do everything I want (and I want to do a lot). I enjoy it, I thrive off helping, doing, creating, solving… I guess I am a “Supermom.”

But am I really? I personally don’t think so. I know that every time I accept a task or a project something has to fall off the other end. I must, on a regular basis, accept my limitations. I can’t do it all. I hate saying that, because I want to do it all. Unfortunately, there is no way that one person can do a 1,000 things and do them all well. As I recommend to my advertising clients all the time: if you have a limited budget then you must choose one or two media and do them well. If you try and spread your dollars thinly across all media – you’ll do a miserable job and just won’t be effective in any of them. The same principle applies in my life. I don’t believe in work/life balance. I think it’s a myth. I think we make choices and we can be successful in those things we choose as priorities.

I personally have had to redefine what being a successful mom is to me, but I’ve also had to redefine my career too. I don’t believe I can be at my best in both of those roles at the same time. For example, I decided when my kids were young to focus on them 100%. To me, this meant being very poor for a while and putting my career on hiatus. I didn’t have to give up my career, but upon returning to work I simply cannot expect to be at the same level as my peers – my career took a back seat. In the same regard, I’ve now made the choice to return to the world of work and business… can I expect to still be that hands-on mom I was before? That’s absurd, there’s not enough of me to go around.


This is why I have found fabulous care for my kids and have made choices that will allow me to pursue that which is on the other end of the scale (thus tipping its balance once again). Work/life balance? No such thing - there is always an imbalance. We get through our day. Hopefully we prioritize the right things at the right times. I think it’s healthy to admit that we can’t do it all. We need to allow ourselves to let things go. Otherwise we set up a trap for ourselves and then we feel guilty and depressed when we don’t or can’t live up to our own expectations.


off balanceExperience has taught me that life is about making choices and compromising. I’ve even started to realize that what I once may have classified as guilt or even depression might just be raw feelings of mourning. Mourning the loss of what might have been if only I really could do it all. Take your time to mourn but then refocus on the choices you have made and do the best you can within that framework. Make the best choice with the information you have at that given time, admit your weakness, work hard at building your support network, own your decisions and celebrate your successes daily. This I feel, is the new definition of Supermom.

 

 

Thanks to Andrea, our guest blogger, super-momstown mama, owner of momstown Hamilton with a few other things on the go as well!

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It's Not Fair

You’d think the statement “It’s not fair” would be commonly heard around our house. Strangely, it’s not. Or at least it wasn’t. I’m not sure why we had the good fortune of escaping it for so long, but it has recently become a part of our family’s vernacular.

It’s actually kind of surprising the kids didn’t think to use it before. I suspect there are plenty of occasions in our biggie-sized family that they could have. Like on movie night when I put out one big bowl of popcorn and it’s every kid for him/herself. It never crossed my mind to evenly divide the popcorn prior to handing it out, but now that my kids are dishing out the statements about fairness, who knows where this nonsense will take us? It never bothered me hearing other kids say it, but when it’s coming out of the mouths of my kiddos I get all anxious and uncomfortable. Believe me, it’s no fun raising children who sound like entitled little brats.

The thing that irks me most is their improper use of the phrase. When they say “It’s not fair”, what they’re really saying is “It’s not going my way right now” or “I don’t want to do it”. Often it has nothing to do with actual justice or fairness. In a fit of frustration, after hearing it again the other day, I decided to give the kids a tour of our house. I went through their bedrooms, looking out the window at their pool and trampoline. Then we peeked out the front to see the court where they spend their time biking, playing basketball and rollerblading. Next we wandered into the mudroom where their hockey bags are stored, along with dance shoes, baseball gloves and other equipment for the many activities they do. We walked over to the big harvest table where they gather to eat/waste beautiful food. And finally we wrapped up the tour at the kid-designated computer. We sat down and I pulled up images of children in Third World countries. If they want to talk FAIR, then it’s GAME ON!

So I’m done with hearing the word fair. Until they are able to use it in an appropriate and meaningful way, “fair” is a place they go to get cotton candy and ride on unsafe roller coasters. Fair or unfair, that’s how it’s going to be.

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Mini Me?

Was I excited that both my daughters ASKED to do a triathlon after seeing pictures of their friends this summer? Of course I was, I LOVE this sport and would love my kids to share my passion, plus I was ecstatic to finally be their cheerleader for a race, instead of them cheering me on. So after confirming that yes indeed they both wanted to swim, bike and run, I happily signed them up for the Tri Kids Triathlon in Milton last weekend.

 

Race day arrived, temp were cool for September but into the pool they both went (even Daddy got to do his first triathlon .. kids under 5 have to have a parent with them), they both biked with speed (which they love) and ran their hearts out to the finish line. My youngest loved it, “can we go again?” she asks after our 10mins on the race course, my oldest – had fun, but prefers to just “stay in the pool mommy”. Daddy thought transition was a bit stressful … but, I think he even had a blast!

Mak all Smiles on BikeHana all Smiles

 

For me, it was so much fun to watch them, cheer them and exciting to see them participate in something I am so passionate about. Yes, I am so proud that my entire family (including Daddy) has done a triathlon, but the biggest accomplishment of the weekend for me was they tried something new and had fun doing it. Will they go again next year? I haven’t a clue, this is my sport, my passion NOT theirs – I want them to find their own passion and as a parent, I feel my responsibility is to ensure they try enough different activity to find out what they love. Heck, it might not even involve a sport – as long as my girls learn how to swim, bike and skate I will be happy with their athletic development. I think parents need to remember that, we cannot live thru our kids or make them be mini-me’s … let them find what they love.

 

Can I still dream that someday in the far off future, Hana, Mak and I will complete a triathlon together – you bet - but I just cannot expect that!

*pictures by Ryder Photography

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I am a Rubber Band... always bouncing back

Today just wasn't my day and I don't think yesterday was either... but working from home is like that. Its not about today or yesterday, its about a choice. A choice to stay at home, raise my daughter, and be the provider at home for a husband who works 7 days a week.

A choice to be passionate about a business that allows me to stay home, work from home and be my own boss. And like anything in life, this has its good days and its bad days. Most days I feel like a rubber band being pulled in a million different directions and not breaking or buckling at any tug.


Having a trying defiant toddler sure doesn't make it any easier. She is the light of my life, she is the cutest thing ever but lately I hardly recognize this little person that I raised. Is she having a long term out of body experience? Has she switched bodies with another child? I don't have the answer.
rubber band
What I do know is that just because today was a bad day, it doesn't mean tomorrow will be as well. Just like being passionate about my business, I too am passionate about my little peanut and the joy she brings me, good days and bad. And really, when I think about, I feel like I gave birth to twins and have grown 2 babies over the past 2 years at the same time. The brave soul that I am, I decided to take on self-employment and start building a business when my baby was just a mere 4 months old.

 

Although momstown Kitchener-Waterloo isn't a person, it is a living dynamic business that requires the same nurturing, feeding, attention, playing, juggling and yes, the sleepless nights that a baby demands. I have raised 2 babies for 2 years and naturally, not every day is perfect. I have to be honest here and say that a large majority of them are so awesome and both my babies are so rewarding but the odd day, is a bad day.

But just like that rubber band, I will rest and bounce back again tomorrow. And the next day. And the next too. This, afterall, is what motherhood and entrepreneurship are about, riding out the not so good and celebrating all of it!

Thanks to our guest blogger, Paula, the owner of momstown Kitchener-Waterloo for this great post that all of us mamas can relate to!

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Why I blame Tiger Woods...

Kids Triathlon

 

This past weekend my “one and only” competed in his very first kids triathlon and if there was a prouder mama there, you would have been hard pressed to find her! He swam, biked and ran his little heart out and at the end of it he was thrilled to run into the waiting arms of his cheering section! (Well, that may have just been a momentary diversion on his direct path to the snack table, but I digress…) He didn’t finish first, he didn’t finish last… he finished. And for a little guy who has a “slight” (read: MASSIVE) tendency to lean towards perfectionism, his pride (and relief!) was a thing of beauty.

 

You would think that a high five and a few mama tears of joy might have been the end of the story, but unfortunately the overall experience was somewhat tarnished by some of the things we witnessed while we were there. Dads yelling at their kids to “Stop breathing like that… breathe properly!!”… moms shouting in the not-so-distant distance “ What are you doing?? You’re not even trying!”… parents shaking their heads in disbelief and bemoaning the “certainty” that “there’s no way he/she is going to win doing it like that…!”.

 

Seriously? Perhaps I have low expectations but if my son is breathing at all, I’m a happy mama. Not trying? How do I know? Maybe he’s thinking I could be cheering harder! Not going to win? Couldn’t care less… My only hope was that he finished… in one piece… and didn’t turn into a popsicle in the process (It was crazy cold out there!!).

 

When did “being the best” become the ONLY option? I remember playing softball, ringette, hockey, etc. growing up – sometimes I had a great game, sometimes not so much. Sometimes we won, sometimes it was a disaster. People won, people lost… but at the end of the day everyone seemed to understand that it was mainly for fun and 90% of us were never going to make it to the ‘big leagues’. And that was okay.

 

Why is it that these days, all kids need to be the “Tiger Woods” of their chosen sport almost immediately upon exiting the womb? Whether you’re smacking golf balls, swimming laps, shooting baskets or even ‘tickling the ivories”… did I miss the memo stating that everyone needs to be a superstar??

 

My question is this – if my son has to be “the best” at something, and we all need to get him immersed in whatever that may be ASAP, aren’t I picking what I want him to be good at? There are the few rare “phenoms”, like Tiger Woods, who seemed to destined for certain things (although perhaps we won’t pay too much attention to where that eventually got him!) but they are most certainly the exception rather than the rule. A phenomenon is, by definition, a “singularity” or “unusual occurrence” – not the norm. So why do we all expect that everyone needs to conquer the competition?

 

My 7 year old is a smart kid, who is kind, caring, empathetic, inquisitive and makes me laugh until my sides hurt. He swims, is a red belt in taekwondo, has played soccer, enjoys rock climbing and may even check out snowboarding this Winter. Is he the ‘best’ at any of these things? Nope. Will he be at some point? Probably not. But if he decides that one of these things – or even something else – is his true passion I will be there to support him 110%, whether he’s 1st or 101st.

 

Don’t get me wrong. I love my son dearly and obviously want nothing but the best for him. The difference is that I’m completely okay with letting him decide what that might be. And until then, I will continue to be his biggest fan, supporter and champion.

 

He’s already talking about the possibility of another triathlon next year. Maybe he’ll do better… maybe he won’t. (Maybe it will be warmer!) And that’s completely okay with me.

Kids Triathlon Support

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First day of preschool

Well the big day has come and gone, and we're all still in one piece. My big guy - Oliver - has officially started pre-school.

I was pretty nervous for the little guy, as he's been home with me from the day he was born.  The only other people he's been left with are his dad, his grandparents and his auntie.  Looks like it's time to step out of the circle and into the big world!

When looking at schools, I wanted Oliver to be there as little as possible and I wanted to be as involved as possible.  Fast forward a couple months, and I quickly realized that pre-school is going to be for Oliver, not me.  I already graduated from preschool many moons ago, and they don't need me back!  I also realized that with all the groups and programs I run through momstown, Oliver already sees me in a helping/teaching role, so it's time for me to pass that torch (2 days a week, for 2 1/2 hours) to someone else.  He needs to hear rules from someone other than me and his dad, and he needs to have interactions with other kids without me always shouting "Are you being nice?" "Are you sharing?".   He knows how to do these things, and being away from me, he gets to practice it independently.

So, being this nervous mom sending her child away to have someone else take care of him, I was sure he would be traumatized by the whole situation, he'd take weeks to adjust in his new surroundings and we were really going to have to prepare him for the big day.  I was also very aware that I didn't want him to know how nervous I was about the whole thing.

Oliver's school had an open house two days before he officially started, so we were really geared up to go and check out his new school, see his teachers, and play with his friends.  The whole two minute drive that it took to get there (maybe we should have walked!!) he kept telling me that it was ok if I left.  Um, no you need me there, trust me, you have no idea what we're getting into little man!

We get there and sure enough, he runs over to the train/truck station and he wanted nothing to do with me. We later toured the school, found out where all the toilets were, had a great chat with his teachers, and he played with his friends.

Ok, this was too easy.  I'm sure Thursday is going to be brutal for him when I really leave.  It'll be ok though, I'll stick around as long as he needs me there.

preschool Oliver

So on Thursday, his official first day, we go to the school.  In the car, Oliver practiced what we were going to do - first we go downstairs and take off my back pack, then go upstairs and mommy leaves.
This is what we did, and there was nothing else to it.  I gave him a hug, he hugged Harrison, and he was happy to play and watch mommy walk out the door.  When I picked him up, he came running out of the classroom and told me about what a great time he had.

I'm so proud of my little guy and the big new world he's stepping out into.  He said he can't wait to go again next week. I'm excited for him too.  I'm also excited that I get to spend some one on one time with Harrison - just him and mommy.

Did you have a little one start school this week?  How did it go?

Thanks to our guest blogger, Lisa, from momstown Burlington, for sharing Oliver's story with us!

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Girl Power

We tell our daughters they can do anything, as long as they try. Well that is even true for us mommies. I witnessed this again this month on September 4th, when a team of ladies that I co-coached this summer – 60 strong, completed the All Women’s Triathlon in Milton.

Mommy's in Motion 2011 Team

These ladies “tried- a- tri”, they swam, biked and then ran to the finish line. THEY DID IT and each of these women is winners for crossing the finish line! I am so very inspired be each of them.

Many of the women on our Mommy’s in Motion team are ladies I have met through momstown, many would never have dreamed that they would be racing in a multi-sport event after becoming moms. Or would they dream of doubling the race distance they did just one year before. But each athlete (even if they struggle to call themselves that), pushed themselves out of their comfort zone. They put themselves first (at least 1 night a week) to train each Tuesday night over the entire summer. They biked hills that cars struggle to climb, they spent hours in a lake - actually swimming, they picked themselves up after falling, they cheered each other on through tough workouts .. and of course, they cried as they began to believe they really could do this. This is girl power, our ability as women to accomplish something so far out of our reach – and it always amazes me.

These women gave it their all on race day, they all can proudly call themselves triathletes. Yet in my mind a bigger accomplishment happened as they crossed the finish line this month. They each became role models for daughters and women! Their actions speak so much louder than our words – girls can do anything, as long as they try!

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The Pint-Sized Dictator

julie cole finian photo

Sweet, yet powerful.

www.clbuchananphotography.com



The youngest of my six children has had a pretty sheltered existence to date. He has only been cared for by three people: Me, Daddy-o, and Nanny Hazel. Even my very involved mom has noted that he’s the only grandchild she has never babysat. Part of the problem is that he’s a bit of a quirky guy and I wouldn’t describe him as my best-natured child. Although there has been a lot of recent growth, development and general temperament improvement, he spent much of his toddlerhood awkward and grumpy. Not exactly the kind of kid you want to burden some unsuspecting caregiver with.

When you have an awkward child, there is a fine line between supporting their little personality quirks while not feeding into – and becoming a slave to – them. For our family, this line got blurred and the result was the creation of our own little monster, known as the Pint-Sized Dictator (PSD). Our PSD is very good at getting what he wants – he throws out non-verbal demands to his team of siblings and they run in hopes of avoiding a fuss or tantrum.

We all consider ourselves the servants of the PSD and he is happiest when he is surrounded by his team of humble staff. In fact, he does not like to welcome outsiders into his sacred circle of trust (and servitude). I can remember a time when a visiting child was sitting at our dinner table and the PSD was offended by her presence. He angrily tried to order the child away from our table. Imagine that cheeky neighborhood kid thinking she had a place among “his people”?

He is now approaching 2.5 years old and I’ve begun to feel like we need to rein in our fearless leader. I thought a good first step would be a couple of mornings a week at nursery school, to get him out of this house and socialized with other people. But the idea of it made me so anxious. Here is an odd child who has not been around strangers. I was especially concerned that, because of his language delay, he would not understand me when I explained that I’d be back for him. So, in a bold move that was either brilliant or evidence that I am a PSD enabler, I sent him off to his first day of nursery school with his 4-year-old brother there as a little “helper” (which is a code word for “spy” and possibly “buffer”).

All went swimmingly, and on day two of nursery school he went solo and had a wonderful time, following routines and listening to his teacher. And so, our little PSD has been dethroned and we’re working very hard to ensure that his little crown stays well out of reach from now on.

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Why we love Grandparents

Grandparent's Day is this weekend, and we momstown mamas have been reflecting on how important a role grandparents can play in our childrens' lives. Here are some of the special ways grandparents help us raise our kids!

grandparnents day

1. The Sleepover

A special time for your child and their grandparent to enjoy - make their own rules and have their own fun. One lucky momstown kid goes off to Camp Grandma every summer!

 

2. Grandparents do it different

Sometimes our kids need a new perspective! Sure, mom and dad are great but isn't it great to do things a new way, or to experience something that isn't part of the routine at home? Our momstown Oakville mama loves her kids' Time with Nana - her daughters are learning to garden!

 

Julie realised that her kids loved and needed their unstructured, random time with their Grandfather, The Gaffer, even if it didn't include the planned outings or "special time" together she thought she wanted from her dad.

 

3. Bridging the generations

Some children are lucky enough to get some time or even just a precious moment with a great-grandparent. Our momstown Winnipeg's newest baby met his Great Granny - and what a picture.

 

Grandparents can also bridge the gaps. If a parent isn't around or another grandparent is absent, we have a special Step-Grandpa who's always there for his grandson.

 

4. The Recipes!

Don't grandparents make the best food filled with memories and great times? Check these recipes for old-fashioned hearty dishes.

Grandma's Harvard Beet Salad

Grandma's 14 Day Coleslaw

Grandma's Freezer Strawberry Jam

Grammie's Meatloaf

 

I remember my granddad teaching me checkers. He came for lunch every Friday and we played. Now I'm teaching my own son - and I think of him often.

 

What's your favourite grandparent memory?

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